Family Drama

Now that you know about the "Big Night Out" at MB, let me tell you the fall out portion. So I've been home for about a month when I get an out of the blue email from Bill (names changed so I didn't get killed by my family) my 20 year old cousin's mother. And I quote

has a $740 charge on his credit card from the night y'all all went drinking together. He says he paid the tab for everyone. Did y'all go any place after Captain Poo's? The receipt does not say Captain Poo's. It says Dog Leg Left.

We are trying to deal with his wild spending, drinking and honesty issues. He is going to a counselor today. It would help if we had our facts together.

Now at this point I'm thinking Shit, Damn Fuck we're busted and she's pissed. The other co conspirators and I decide to let me address the email and I'll handle Bill's Mom (BM). I proceed to fudge the truth b/c at this time I'm still trying to NOT tell anyone where we went b/c I just don't want to deal with the drama associated with that. Suffice it to say the conversation went down hill from there. The high points of my eventual telephone conversation with BM were

1. Bill didn't buy alcohol
2. Bill is an adult and needs to take responsibility for his actions
   
3. I have no guilt about going to a damn strip club b/c I'm of age and can make my own decisions
4. And I did nothing to feel sorry for.

At which point I find out that the dumbass went back the next night BY HIMSELF and spent a freakin grand at the club. So I go back to the original theme of the conversation

1. Bill is an adult and is responsible for his actions
2. I'm sorry (no not for getting caught see point numbers three and four above) but that she is dealing with this
3. Some people have to learn the hard way like 95% of my family including ME!
4. He'll eventually grow up but only if he is held responsible for his own actions

WE hang up on good terms and I congratulate myself for the mature and responsible way I handled the phone call. And then proceed to convene a conference call with my girls to gossip and dissect the conversations. This is on Tuesday night

So I go back to work on Wed and it's all good until about 5:30 PM when I get this blast email that just about blows the top of my head off.

If you get a call from the Horry County Police Department, it is because I have filed charges against the Crazy Horse for selling $1740.00 worth of alcohol and etc. to my 20 year old son. Y'all might be called on as witnesses.

Thanks for your assistance!

WTF?!?!?! Oh great, this means that on top of not holding him accountable for his actions, you've drug me, Jamie and my best friend into an asinine police report that could at some point in the future impact all of us. I don't need to be tied up in a police report in which I could be held accountable for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Again been there, done that, escaped by the skin of my teeth on that one. No charges, b/c I didn't do anything wrong but it could have gone so much more badly for me than it did.

Plus this just pissed me off and told me that BM did not listen to what I said and is still living in her safe little world where nothing is Bill's fucking fault. GROW UP! The dude went back a second night by himself to spend a thousand dollars on some cute little dancer named Jewel. And she was cute and sweet, but get real! How does this translate into a complaint against the Crazy Horse. He's allowed in there at 18 and can spend whatever amount he wants on lap dances. THEY NEVER SERVED HIM ALCOHOL!!!!! They are not going to risk their ABC liquor license on some dumb 20 year old punk who spent some money there. The Crazy Horse is a freaking institution in North Myrtle Beach, it's been there for as long as I can remember.

So I and the others decide to just ignore this email and not respond. But by now I realize I'm going to need to do damage control because I am 100% positive that this little episode has made the family airwaves and I need to talk to my parents to ensure that I don't get relegated back to the "Awful Child" list that I've managed to NOT be on in at least 6 years. :)

Big night out at MB

This is a long one so just bear with me. I wasn't going to blog about this, but in the end it just too damn funny not to.

Let me set the stage for my latest family drama. As you know, my family vacations for a week at Myrtle Beach every year. This has been going on since before I was born people. Too many people of all ages stuffed into one house makes for some VERY interesting stories over the past years. But since we've all grown up and people have moved away, died, been born, just gotten older, etc, the number of people has changed from year to year. So this year, it me, my parents, my aunt, my cuz Jamie, my other aunt and uncle and my two of my bestest girlfriends on the planet in a four bedroom two bath house on the front row. Scattered among various other houses were other member of the extended family.

So one night we all decide to head out to a local "hotspot" that Jame Jame had found from talking to various people. The girls and Jamie head out to Captain Poo's local hotspot and proceed to hang out and the girls were drinking like fishes (which we'd done since we'd gotten to the beach on Saturday). My younger cousin we'll call Bill and my brother and his girlfriend show up and decide to hang for a while. this is all good until Captain Poo's decides to shut down for the evening and we have to find somewhere else to go. Now my brother and his girlfriend decide to be the smart ones and go home! Bill and the rest of us decide to stay out for a while. No big deal, until you start looking for a place in North Myrtle Beach the week before high season starts that's still open at 1 AM AND (drumroll please) allows under 21 to get in. Guess what the only place is that will allow this interesting combo to happen.....A Gentleman's Club!

So we proceed to traipse over to the Crazy Horse and the girls are going to continue to hang and drink b/c we just didn't want to go home yet. Bill, of course is 20 so he can't drink and Jamie is DD for the night. No biggie, we'll go, have a few more drinks, talk, laugh and head home before the sun comes up because I have NO desire to ever be awake and drinking when the sun comes up again. Been there, done that, have the bar bills to prove it and no thank you I'm too damn old for that anymore.

See now this is where things get interesting. Bill (the 20 yr old cousin) has a tiny little self esteem problem and has now decided to show his older cousins and her hot friends exactly how cool he is. And this is probably going to be two parts.

We show ID, pay our way into the Crazy Horse and find a table. Bill is off somewhere and when he gets to the table he tells us he's paid the bouncer/doorman to make sure we "are taken care of" and he's pulled $600 are and we won't have to pay for anything. My first response was WTF??! There's like 12 people in here, we don't need to pay to be taken care of, plus there's three women at the table and dancers for some reason swarm around tables with women and hwo the fuck are we going to spend $600 on drinks. Well duh, we didn't really see Bill for the rest of the night b/c he was off in the private room spending his $600 on lap dances. Whatever we had a really good time talking to the girls and drinking and then it was time to go home.

Here's the deal, we all agreed to NOT tell anyone where we went b/c it wouldn't go over well with the family AND Jamie and Bill had gotten into deep kimchi last year for doing this. So we tell NO ONE where we were and suffered the hangovers the next day like the big girls we were. Of course the girls were in bed by 10 the next night and I'm not sure Jamie even made it to 8 PM. But we're all old now and know when to get some sleep after being stupid the night before.

Before we ever left...

I'm slack. I haven't posted to my blog since I got back from London (which was FABULOUS) and I've since been back to NY, SAT, NY and home. Soooooo....here we go. Whirlwind weekend in London. Overnight flight was great, I slept about three hours, my SO not at all. Seats were awesome, plenty of room good food, on demand games, movies and musics. But before we ever boarded the plane we started having fun. I picked the line to go through security at JFK b/c I NEVER get in the same line as people with kids especially those in a stroller because it takes forever to get through. Yes, I fly every week, I HATE strollers and newbie flyers.

Anywhoo...this is a transcript of the people in front of us in line. Read with a Cockney accent

TSA: Please remove all metal objects and put them in the bin, remove laptops, dvd players, video cameras from their case, keep your boarding pass out and only one carry on plus one personal item per person.
Female passenger: Its against the rules to bring more than x amount of alcohol back into the UK we aren't buying anything else in the duty free shop
Male passenger: But we promised
Female passenger: NO
Male passenger: grumble, grumble, grumble

TSA: Please remove all metal objects from your pockets before passing through security
Male passenger dumps fake fur coat and shoes and carry on in bin and walks through metal detector

BING BING BING (aka as the moron alert)

Male passenger shows off belly to show belt buckle (totally grody by the way)
TSA: Please go back and remove all metal objects from your pockets including keys, change, cell phone, watch, etc.
Male passenger dumps three pounds of change from left pocket and cell phone but doesn't remove belt, watch or wallet.
TSA: Please remove everything from your pockets and take off the belt
Male passenger is like the clown car removing shit from his pockets: more change, wallet, belt, watch, FIVE rings, gold Mr. T chain, etc. Goes back through security and BING BING BING
At this point SO and I are falling on each other laughing b/c the TSA chick is PISSED!!!!! And not being nice about it.
TSA: COME BACK HERE AND REMOVE EVERYTHING FROM YOUR POCKETS. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
Male Passenger remove THREE condoms from back pocket
TSA: Condoms?!? Really are you serious?!?! CONDOMS?!?!?! I said take EVERYTHING out of your pockets. These are FOIL. They set off the metal detector. Is there anything else in your pockets, any of your pockets?!?!?
Male passenger: No I don't think so
TSA: Go through the metal detector now and I don't want you to come back here again

Male passenger finally gets through security and his wife who is already through security is about to blow a gasket.

SO and I proceed through with no problems. Of course I need to change my pants after peeing on myself from laughing so hard at the idiots. I love traveling! International is the best!

BTW...this couple was across the aisle from us on the flight over. They continued behaving as if they owned the damn plane and needed rock star treatment the whole flight and continued fighting about the duty free alcohol. LOL

Cheers

I'm back! At least physically I'm back in the States and have been since about 10 PM Monday. All I have to say is I love that city and I am sooo going back to London. The other half and I had an absolute blast. Short story is lots of walking, little sleep, British breakfasts, football, the tube, drizzle and a new suitcase for the trinkets we brought back. I'll go into more detail later, but I'm alive, we had a great time and it sucks to be back at work. I still haven't caught up on my sleep but I'm planning to while I'm in San Antonio this weekend. :)

Outta here!!!!

So today is the day I fly to merry ol england for the first time. I'm all kinds of excited and about to bust to get out of work and leave. But I still have eight more hours until I leave. On the good side of the house is the fact that I won't have to work while I'm gone b/c I killed myself last week and this week to get it all done so I can leave in good conscience. On the bad side of the house my stress levels have been out of control for two weeks. Which leads me to my next topic...stupid fights.

That being said I have a confession to make. I did something I swore I'd never do. I picked a fight with my SO over something stupid b/c I didn't know how to express how upset I was over something else. I won't go into what I was upset about but I will confess the stupid fight part. It was over the size of the suitcase I was packing for the London trip. Keeping in mind I'm gone for 17 days and I'm going to work, London and San Antonio during this time. Anyway, I packed the 22 inch suitcase instead of my usual 19 inch rollaboard and first he was asking if I really wanted to do that and why was it so full. I pulled psycho girl out of the closet and proceeded to rant uncontrollably and say really not nice things. Thank god he doesn't hold grudges because I was mean and borderline psychotic. I'm going to have to be extra nice on this trip to make up for it.

Back to the fun stuff now. He's on his way here to NY and we are so outta here for four days tonight! I can't wait and it's like waiting for Christmas when you're little. It seems like today is NEVER going to end. I've also got money and requests for lots of little things from there and of course chocolate that you can't buy here. Well you can usually find it in NY, but not in the rest of the good ol USofA. So what little room I have left in my suitcase is getting filled with chocolate before I come back. :)

BTW...I'm sorry for being that girl and going psycho on you. I'll try not to do it again.

Across the pond

I'm soooo freaking excited. My other half and I are finally taking that trip to London we've been talking about for years! Flying Virgin Atlantic premium economy which is first class on most other airlines. Using points for an awesome hotel near the Kensington Palace, going to see a soccer game and tour all kinds of neat things using the London Pass. I cannot tell you how excited I am to take this trip. I've never been to London and I've heard awesome things about it. I'm going to Harrod's, (hate on me all you want Terri, you've been there), Hard Rock to add to my shot glass collection, the Kensington Palace, London Tower and all kinds of stuff that I can't even begin to list.

Ok..I'm done being insane and am going back to my normal self. Updates to come as we get closer to trip date.

The Rest of the Weekend

Sunday rolls around and we decide to be slugs. I'm not sure we did anything that day. Until it was time to meet her parents and aunt and uncle for dinner at...drum roll please...The Dodging Duck. Where I know the beer is GOOD! Off we go, driving down I 10 and the mini tank starts acting a little funny. Because, as far as we know at this point, the rear passenger rim is bent all to hell and back. Which in my infinite wisdom decide to play stupid about and go "I don't know what happened to the tire". Swiss Miss isn't going along yet, but this is pre beer. I'll keep working on her.

Dinner was strained, I stepped in at LEAST two different piles of family shit b/c I didn't see it and the warning kick from chica was WAY late in comng. Oh well, I have beer and stuffed mushrooms, I'm happy. :) Time to leave, I'm driving and we decide to have a smoky treat before we leave. Standing around the passenger side of the mini tank and HOLY SHIT did she screw up that truck. Front rim has scrapes, entire passenger side doors have holes and scrapes and the rear tire rim looks WAY worse during the day. No way we can do the dumb blonde routine on this one. AND the stupid traction control lights are coming on as I drive home. This is going to require another insurance claim and a rental mini tank return. Woosh...there goes another $500.

Suffice it to say, we decide to stay home and drink from the kegerator (while its still in her possession) on Monday. No biggie. And the hits keep on coming on Monday. Wake up, drink coffee, go potty, and the water softener blows up. ITS LABOR DAY!!! That's going to cost big bucks!!! Meanwhile realtors are calling and want to show the house. Ok...come on in, ignore the plumbers that cost a ton and excuse the fact that we have pitchers of beer and haven't showered yet today. Stay up wind...it doesn't smell as bad that way. :)

Plumbers = $550
Lease water softenener = $300
Insurance Claim = $500

Total is now up to roughly $2300. I got off cheap with my ticket and my first class upgrade. So aside from the monetary outlays, it was a great weekend. Beer, conversations, movies, good food, a little housework, a little talking someone off the ledge a couple of times and one hell of hangover on Tuesday. Yep, all in all a good weekend for me. :)

Saturday of Labor Day weekend

I'm a slacker blogger. I was off to a great start and fell by the wayside after a couple of posts. Mea culpa, but then again that's my MO. :)


Labor Day Weekend was great fun...at least for me. For SAT chica, aka Swiss miss, it was one expensive and painful weekend. Quick update for those that don't know...Swiss miss is currently in the midst of a divorce with all the fun that entails, like unloading a house, a husband and excess baggage. Anywho...weekend update.

I arrive in SAT around 10:30 local time and for those of you who have never flown from DC to SAT that means I left DC at 6 FREAKING AM!!!! Again, not one of my brighter moments, but i was all about the cost benefit. Maximum time in San Antonio at minimum price. :)

Swiss Miss picks me up and she's driving a mini tank (aka Chrysler Aspen) cuz smart girl smashed up her Benz the previous weekend. We'll forgive her, because she's not used to having to look for other cars in the driveway anymore. :) Back to story...she's in pain! Back issues which is another story entirely, but moving on. She decides she needs drugs right freaking now! So where do we go, for an anti inflammatory and pain killers....Mom and Dad of course! Get drugs, go to the local Doc in the Box where we wait for two hours. She needs help standing up and I get a great sandwich recipe off the Food Network. Girlfriend comes out with three prescriptions and decides that she's fine and don't need no stinking cortisone shot. Whatever!!! I drag her ass back in tell the doc to shoot her up. I'm thinking we have lots of drinking and talking to do which means she needs to be semi functional. Total around $300 for doc and prescriptions. Keep a tab guys, this is just the beginning.

Off to the Dodging Duck for beer food and BEER!!! I've been waiting all day to partake in a tasty beverage. Conversation ensued, beer was drunk (to the tune of about 80 bucks) pretzel and hot wing bites were eaten. Oh yeah, the recruiter who enticed me to my current company was sitting at the table next to us and we finally figured out how we knew each other. WEIRD! I knew she moved to SAT, but that was just strange to see her there. Thank god I wasn't totally inebriated yet. :)

Moving on to Saturday night. Swiss Miss and I decide to get dressed up like the smoking hot 30 somethings we are (LMAO) and head over to this local cuban bar for drinks and live music. After ordering a round, she realizes she forgot her camera and heads back to the homestead to pick it up. Meanwhile I'm hovering around a couple of chairs, because this place is packed. I manage to snake two chairs and am protecting them with my life from the squatters all around until she makes her way back to the bar. Forever later, she shows back up and informs me that she took out the brick retaining wall in front of her house b/c she's driving the f'ing mini tank. That's at least $500 to fix the wall. (Total is now hovering around $900). Two or three rounds later we decide to head home before the bar closes and it becomes completely nuts trying to get out of the parking lot. Fall into bed and sleep like the dead until 7 AM. :)

I'll get to the rest of the expensive weekend tomorrow. I actually have to work now. Dammit!!!