Before we ever left...

I'm slack. I haven't posted to my blog since I got back from London (which was FABULOUS) and I've since been back to NY, SAT, NY and home. Soooooo....here we go. Whirlwind weekend in London. Overnight flight was great, I slept about three hours, my SO not at all. Seats were awesome, plenty of room good food, on demand games, movies and musics. But before we ever boarded the plane we started having fun. I picked the line to go through security at JFK b/c I NEVER get in the same line as people with kids especially those in a stroller because it takes forever to get through. Yes, I fly every week, I HATE strollers and newbie flyers.

Anywhoo...this is a transcript of the people in front of us in line. Read with a Cockney accent

TSA: Please remove all metal objects and put them in the bin, remove laptops, dvd players, video cameras from their case, keep your boarding pass out and only one carry on plus one personal item per person.
Female passenger: Its against the rules to bring more than x amount of alcohol back into the UK we aren't buying anything else in the duty free shop
Male passenger: But we promised
Female passenger: NO
Male passenger: grumble, grumble, grumble

TSA: Please remove all metal objects from your pockets before passing through security
Male passenger dumps fake fur coat and shoes and carry on in bin and walks through metal detector

BING BING BING (aka as the moron alert)

Male passenger shows off belly to show belt buckle (totally grody by the way)
TSA: Please go back and remove all metal objects from your pockets including keys, change, cell phone, watch, etc.
Male passenger dumps three pounds of change from left pocket and cell phone but doesn't remove belt, watch or wallet.
TSA: Please remove everything from your pockets and take off the belt
Male passenger is like the clown car removing shit from his pockets: more change, wallet, belt, watch, FIVE rings, gold Mr. T chain, etc. Goes back through security and BING BING BING
At this point SO and I are falling on each other laughing b/c the TSA chick is PISSED!!!!! And not being nice about it.
TSA: COME BACK HERE AND REMOVE EVERYTHING FROM YOUR POCKETS. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
Male Passenger remove THREE condoms from back pocket
TSA: Condoms?!? Really are you serious?!?! CONDOMS?!?!?! I said take EVERYTHING out of your pockets. These are FOIL. They set off the metal detector. Is there anything else in your pockets, any of your pockets?!?!?
Male passenger: No I don't think so
TSA: Go through the metal detector now and I don't want you to come back here again

Male passenger finally gets through security and his wife who is already through security is about to blow a gasket.

SO and I proceed through with no problems. Of course I need to change my pants after peeing on myself from laughing so hard at the idiots. I love traveling! International is the best!

BTW...this couple was across the aisle from us on the flight over. They continued behaving as if they owned the damn plane and needed rock star treatment the whole flight and continued fighting about the duty free alcohol. LOL