I've inherited the family curse!

It's official people. I've inherited the family curse. At least one of them. :) My father has a really really bad habit of getting speeding tickets, wrecking cars and occasionally taking out a parked car or a mailbox. My brother also has the family police curse with tickets, various driving offenses (I won't completely rat him out here, but he's reformed these days :) ) and a love affair with fast cars. I thought I had gotten rid of my police curse about seven years ago.

I WAS WRONG!!!! Since May 1, I've had some god awful luck with police and general mayhem with cars. Here's the rundown.
May 1 - the Starbucks barista attempted suicide using my windshield. He was unsuccessful. I was grilled by no less than four cops before they decided it wasn't my fault that he decide to FACEPLANT on my windshield. I'm out my deductible and 5K worth of damage. There's go the clean driving record I was getting back.

June 1 - driving a PT Cruiser I get a speeding ticket on I 95 for 80 in a 65. Like everyone on the planet wasn't speeding, but I get pulled in a PT Cruiser rental car. Explain to me how you can get pulled over in a POS PT Cruiser on a Friday afternoon. Kiss my drivin record totally good buy now.

July 1 -Abusive driver fees go into effect. I put a lawyer on retainer cuz I know me or my other half are going to need one. Ok I didn't actually put one on retainer, but I found the lawyer he used and made sure to keep the lawyers card and the driving school card so we'd have them if we need them.

Sept 24 - Get pulled over again on I 95 southbound this time. And it's a sheriffs deputy who's been following me for 15 MILES!!!!! I'm screwed. But I get a break, I get a written warning and why do I get a written warning you ask. Because I can turn on the dumb southern blond at the drop of a hat. And it worked this time.

Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: Officer (bats eyelashes) I have absolutely no idea. Did I do something wrong?
Office: blah, blah blah, speeding, blah lane change, blah, blah, blah inspection
Me: I'm so so sorry I had no idea I wasn't using my signal. I could have sworn I did. And I do have my inspection sticker. I just had this little accident earlier this summer and someone hit the windshield and I had to get a new one (see may 1)
Officer: Let me go run some things and I'll be back
Me: praying as he goes back to the F'ing Dodge Charger!!!!
Officer: I need to warn you about a couple of things. Doing over 80 on the Interstate is an automatic reckless driving ticket (see July 1 for fees)
Me: Oh my god!
Officer: Switching lanes with no signal could be constituted as aggressive driving
Me: Oh my god!
Officer: Your fine having the inspection sticker in the car, but you should probably have the station replace your sticker.
Me: I certainly will sir.
Officer: Here's your written warning, slow down and have a nice day.
Me: I will, thank you! (gushing voice)

So, blond and dumb wins again! Woohoo! The moral of this story is don't speed in Stafford County and if you get pulled over, pray its a local yokel and not a state guy. And lil bro, if you read this, take your damn cop luck back. I'm tired of it! :)